Birthday celebrations and some philosophical musings

David's 23rd birthday is this coming Saturday, and his family took us out to dinner on Tuesday to celebrate. We always encounter resistance from David whenever he is offered the slightest bit of generosity. His signature phrase is, "I'm okay." I've had to train him to respond with, "Yes, please" or "No, thank you." It's quite funny. I think it's because he doesn't want to be selfish or take advantage of anyone. I have to remind him that it's more rude to refuse someone's offer of generosity than to accept it graciously. Tuesday night was no exception. When asked where he wanted to go out to eat, he responded perfectly honestly with, "Burger King." Exasperated almost beyond words, his mother informed him that they would not be eating anywhere for his birthday that had a drive-through window or a dollar menu. With much prodding from me to come up with a decent place to eat, he finally settled on Buca di Beppo, and we were not disappointed. We got fried calamari, rigatonni, pasta with spicy shrimp, stuffed shells, and a dessert platter with three-layer fudge cake, cheesecake, apple pie, and tiramisu. We had so many leftovers to take home - I'm still working on eating the rest of the pasta for lunch at work.

Our post-birthday dinner activity was not as exhilirating, although I don't think anything could've topped that chocolate cake. :) David originally wanted to go see a movie, but we were all so incredibly full that we thought it better to just go home to watch a movie. David picked "District 9," a movie that I had wanted to see for its commentary on apartheid and ethics but was hesitant to because it's rated R for bloody violence and pervasive language. Lesson learned - never doubt woman's intuition. It was an extremely bloody, violent movie, and I have never heard the F-word so many times in my entire life - the transcendental message of the film was completely lost.

Probably to the shock of all who know me, I must admit that I do watch R-rated movies. Why, you ask? The single biggest thing my Humanities major has taught me is that beauty, truth, and meaning can be found anywhere, and that no single entity has a monopoly on any or all of these things. In my religious defense, the newest edition of the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet contains the following phrase: "Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable." And therein is what I judge my movies by - not their rating, but their content and the message that it espouses. I would rather watch a movie like "Schindler's List" that is undoubtedly rated R for violence, but presents it as deplorable, not acceptable, and instead extols virtues like courage in the face of death, compassion, and sacrifice for the greater good, than a PG-13 movie that celebrates immorality, drugs, and a general lack of responsibility for one's actions and the accompanying consequences. I try to be a discerning movie watcher, no matter what the rating, and I will be the first to admit that "District 9" did not meet my own requirements for watching a rated-R movie. It was extremely disappointing, as it was one of those movies that could be fabulous, but somehow gets bogged down in the mires of bad acting, poor script, excessive profanity, etc. Another lesson learned - be more cautious in your judgment.

We live in a very gray world. There are still some black-and-white decisions, but most of it is very, very gray. The gift of discernment is needed now more than ever, and even the Church has recognized this. The admonition, "Don't see R-rated movies" has been removed from "For the Strength of Youth" because you can no longer judge the quality of a movie by its rating - you have to use your brain and examine the content itself. The missionary discussions are no longer organized numerically because those teaching should be guided by the spirit to teach what the investigator needs to learn. To me, it represents a move similar to the progression from the Law of Moses to the Higher Law that Christ taught. Instead of a list of extremely specific prohibitions and commandments, Christ taught that obedience is more about the spirit of the law; not about a checklist, but about the effect that the list has on the individual. "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you" (John 14:16-18). This is Christ's promise that he'll help us make the everyday decisions in life that seem inconsequential but actually have eternal importance. In a wonderful talk I highly recommend you read, Dallin H. Oaks said, "The gospel of Jesus Christ is the plan by which we can become what children of God are supposed to become. This spotless and perfected state will result from a steady succession of covenants, ordinances, and actions, an accumulation of right choices, and from continuing repentance" (Dallin H. Oaks, “The Challenge to Become,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 32–34). The choices you make are not nearly as important as the effect they have on you, but as the choices you make are the foundation of what you will become, making correct ones - even about movies - are of eternal consequence.