The dangers of vicarious living

When I graduated from college last August, I was quite thrilled about the prospects of no homework, no studying, and no finals. I actually looked forward to just working. However, I quickly realized that my academic life, while hectic and stressful, had filled my life with purpose and kept me busy - and that I now lacked that purpose. But, da-da-da-dum {imagine a trumpet fanfare}, my husband's foray into academia offered me a unique opportunity: I could live vicariously through him! I would be able to participate in that which gave my life meaning for so long without any consequences or responsibility. I could help edit papers, study for tests, crack the whip over David's self-proclaimed procrastination-addicted head, and do it virtually risk-free. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, let me tell you what could go wrong. Let me inform you of the unintended consequences of this mentality. My naive little brain was only focused on the wonderful things of college: the obtaining of new knowledge, the expansion of mental horizons, the shaping and molding of ideas and opinions and thoughts. I've only been out of school for 8 months and I already have collegiate amnesia, a common but extremely vexing affliction that causes a graduate to forget about the grueling work of academia and only remember the rosy parts. Those of you still in college have probably experienced this malady in the form of your parents/relatives when you talk about how difficult your classes and schoolwork are (I know I did); they give you an infuriatingly patronizing look that says, "Oh, it can't be that hard." That's right, my friends. They have collegiate amnesia.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Apparently, collegiate amnesia sets in fast. Fortunately, I have a cure! It's very simple: spend 24 hours pretending you're a college student with a HUGE term project due the next day that involves organizing massive amounts of newspaper, cutting, gluing, filing, and beautifying, and you have approximately 12 hours to complete it. That's what I did last night. With David. Until about 3:30 a.m. Did I mention I have work at 8:30? Nothing brings back the reality of college like staying up ridiculously late/early trying to get a big project done and suffering from severe sleep deprivation for the rest of the day.

So, I am happy to announce that I am cured of my collegiate amnesia, at least temporarily. I no longer have any desire to be a student. After last night, I'll take my mundane but easy 9-5 desk job, thank you.